READING

Reflection on Communication Books and Internship

How to Talk to Anyone by Patrick King

The application of this book to the TelComTec internship was invaluable to me. I observed many of the principles of this book being applied naturally. Naturally, I mean many of the interactions between customers and employees at TelComTec followed many of the guidelines explained in the book by Patrick King, but the communication techniques came from experience rather than learned through a book. When I talked to TelComTec employees I routinely asked if there was a book of guidelines or anything to reference on how to communicate with customers, they all had similar answers. The general answer I got on the topic was that communication skills were developed through years of observation and experience. I felt I had an advantage over some of the experienced employees because I had a formal understanding of the structure of good communication practices.

When observing phone conversations and introductions between support specialists and customers I noticed that the tone of the voice was always welcoming and relaxed. The easy tone would allow customers calling to feel a little more at ease and set the mood to a friendly tone. King’s book explained that the tone of a voice can lighten things up and dial down perceived threats. The approach taken when answering calls would be determine by the customer tone, stressed or relaxed . This was most obvious when the call was about a complaint about work that was dissatisfactory. When a customer called in to report dissatisfaction, they usually felt defensive about the topic and had the mindset of unwilling to lose a dispute. This is where the support specialist usually allowed the customer to talk and express their concerns. After the customers expressed themselves, the agent reframed the concern to the customer and usually conveyed the message of “let’s work together to set a plan of action to get your concern addressed.” King explained in his book that the overall structure of active listening is a conversation consisting of 80% them and 20% you. This principle was applied by all employees communicating with customers at TelComTec. I observed phone agents, technicians, and field managers communicate in this manner, listening at about 75% of the time and only speaking to mostly reassure the customers instructions.

King states that mirroring someone’s conversation can show trust, connection, respect, and understanding. While mirroring a person can result in better outcomes for business communication, mirroring has to have a natural feel with the appropriate tone. At TelComTec when I observed employees using restating techniques, the skill could have been improved. When I had the chance to take calls, I tried very hard to be natural and sound like I was on their wavelength. I would first listen to the costumer talk about the request or problem, then I would try to set the tone to relaxed and friendly.  I calmly restated the problem or concern, and I might ask a thoughtful question to indicate that I was invested in the problem or request. I always tried to show respect and honesty because as King explained in the book, mirroring a conversation in the wrong way can sound disrespectful. Sometime paraphrasing, also know as labeling by King, was helpful to help diffuse conflict. I would say something like “it seems like you want us to send a tech out to make this right.” This statement helped me tremendously during one call that needed me to relax an anxious customer. I was careful not to sound like I was trying to examine the customer’s emotions, but just simply trying to be part of the solution.

Supercommunicator by Charles Duhigg

The book Supercommunicator was very long and had a great deal of detail on the structure of a conversation. I was able to use many of the techniques in the book, but the overall the book will apply more to a conversation between people in a deeper relationship than the type of relationships between TelComTec employees and customers. The book revolved around the principle of four rules that should be applied to all conversation. The four rules are Rule 1: pay attention to the kind of conversation you are having, Rule 2: share goals and ask about their goals, Rule 3: share emotions, Rule 4: explorer if identities are important. The book does explain how to apply the four rules to any type of situation including business, but I felt that for customer support it was too much. I will say that many lessons did help me understand how to build better communication overall, which could be applied to everyday conversations.

Most conversations at TelComTec with customers were too brief to try to build deeper conversations, but the principles would be a great tool when communicating with team members or other employees, and maybe even in an environment like a sales conversation.  The first step is to determine what everyone wants from the conversation, then the second step is to negotiate rules for how we will speak and make choices together. For example, is the conversation attempted by someone to get help, get hugged, or just be heard. Charles Duhigg breaks this down as he follows if someone wants to be helped, they may want your opinion on something. Maybe someone is looking for emotional support, and they may want you to just listen to a problem. Sometimes they just want to be heard, and they just want to contribute an opinion on something. To apply this to a TelComTec type of setting, being able to decipher this conversation would help a supervisor understand his staff and apply productive outcomes to conversations. I could see a situation where if upper management had poor understanding of this technique, they may cause others to feel like their needs are not being met. An employee that is looking to just express frustration may feel unheard if a manager fails to actively listen by restating their feelings and asking more questions. A common mistake would be for a manager to try to give a solution to the employee’s frustration without allowing the conversation to run its full course. The book explains many techniques on how to properly listen to this type of conversation.

Also, Charles Duhigg explains how social identities shape how we think and how we communicate with others, and this is the core of “who are we” in conversation. I feel this type of training should be instituted in all work environments.  I feel that at TelComTec these topics and type of conversation did not come up, but I did see that groups did exist within TelComTec. TelComTec was divided into two major departments, and I did observe small comments that indicated that there were feelings of bitterness. Perhaps communication between these groups could improve and result in better overall performance while completing projects.